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That’s my oldest friend right there. She’s called Jemma. She’s 21. This picture was taken a couple of years ago. She died Sunday night in hospital. She had cystic fibrosis. January 10th she was given 2 weeks to live. She lasted longer than they predicted. Jemma was always one for that, she surprised you with her actions.
I’d do anything to get Jemma back for 5 minutes. I feel like a big peice of me has just gone missing. Nothing helps.
I’ve known her since i moved primary schools at age 8 i think. I grew up with her, and at secondary school. She was like a big sister to me really. She was amazing, you would never think she was ill, so positive and such a good outlook. She could handle more nights out in town than i EVER could. She shaped my growing up. Everyone knew and loved her. Whether you liked her or not, you had an opinion on her, that’s the effect she had on people.
She accepted my coming out, as did many, she always had her shoulder to cry on for me, we always had the best nights out, laughs and experiences.
She fell pregnant before Christmas 2011 and was over the moon, she knew there would be a high risk but braved along. She lost her Lola on May 16th 2012. She was heartbroken, as was her boyfriend. She battled on, she got better and was in and out of hospital. Then from going great in December to back in hospital full time a week later, it was permanent.
We all looked out for her facebook status’ and twitter updates. She got a lot of support. I went up to see her for 4 hours in January, so glad i did. And all me, Mollie, her boyfriend and Mum talked about was either sex, shit or anything else crude or relationship wise. Still in good spirits.
I never thought it’d be the last time i saw her though.
I gave her a big hug before i left.
She wanted to be married before she died, so she got married in the hospital. She got her wish. her other was to be a mother. And now she has that too and is with Lola.
I am truly heartbroken and can barely see the screen writing this. But i love her so much.
I’m making a speech at her funeral March 8th. And maybe getting to play a song for her, one we used to dance to whenever we were out together. The Contours - ‘Do You Love Me’. We used to piss the DJ off asking for it in the club we went in, we ALWAYS used to want it.
 We lost a figure that night. One that nobody is going to forget.  I never believed for a second it was going to happen any time soon, or maybe at all. So when i got the phonecall, i had no idea what the bad news was. I lost one of my best friends that night, i think what hurts the most is not being able to tell her i love her ever again or share a mutual understanding.
Facebook is gonna be a little less loud, and Newbury a little more grey without her.
I want you to know baby you won’t be forgotten.
If i’d known then in the picture what i knew now, i would have held on a little tighter, i wouldn’t have let go.

I love you Jem xxx
Posted 1 year ago with 84 Notes

  1. 2amknowsallmysecrets said: I was trying to think of something comforting to say, but couldn’t find the right words. So I’ll just leave my condolences. I’m so sorry for your loss. Xox
  2. madewithpolaroid said: I’m sorry for your loss. You have written such a beautiful piece that would share the integrity you shared with your friend. I can’t say I know how you feel, but this text makes me embrace the friends I have, just as important as your friend to you.
  3. viciouschild said: I’m sorry about your loss
  4. denisedapunk reblogged this from deeecccc and added:
    I’m so sorry. Stay strong, sweetie.